During spring break I spent a lot of time watching movies. Whether it was during my endless hours in a charter bus heading back and forth and back and forth to the St. Louis area, or just hanging out in the basement of my parent’s house, I viewed a number of movies.
I watched all types of movies. Some action- packed ones, others filled with obnoxious slapstick and of course the genre that I can never decide if I love or hate: romantic comedies.
The thing that really bothers me about romcoms is the events that take place in the movie that seem really, really romantic at the time, but if anyone tried them in real life they would never work out. I’ve complied a list of my least favorite romantic movie clichés and why they just wouldn’t work for a
college student.
The first cliche is a college girl swooning over having a guy write and perform a song for her. In movies a guy will get on one knee and begin strumming his guitar and sing a song he made up for the girl he is trying to woo. If this actually happened to a girl at Creighton she would probably just tweet about it and never talk to him again.
Casually playing your guitar for someone is one thing, but writing an entire song for someone you barely know is pretty creepy.
If you really do believe someone is your muse and you feel compelled to write a song about them, just keep it to yourself until you’ve been dating for a few years or so.
Another thing that movies always make look romantic are beaches. The thousand of you that just got back from Padre can probably agree with me that there is nothing romantic about having sand in every nook and cranny.
Also in movies, the leading lady always trips and falls straight into the arms of some breathtaking doctor who she then dates and marries. I trip all of the time — multiple times a day. What can I say; those bricks on the mall tend to get really slick.
The only thing that makes stumbling breathtaking is when I land flat on my back and get the wind knocked out of me. Trust me, there is nothing romantic about being a klutz. Don’t let Hollywood fool you.
Being dipped on the dance floor isn’t as glamorous in real life. I swear somehow I always end up watching motion pictures where there is some kind of dance scene and the main characters share a slow dance. The guy then dips the girl and stares deeply into her eyes.
The only time this happened to me in real life, it was so awkward I went completely rigid and then flailed around so much that my dance partner actually ended up dropping me. It was well worth it though to achieve a
successful escape.
Kissing in the rain is also something that looks really, really cool in movies but just doesn’t pan out in the real world.
In the movies the characters are ending some perfect evening and then suddenly in begins to pour. Instead of running to their cars or ducking into the doorway of a nearby building, they lean in for the kiss.
I know that Creighton girls love a good excuse to wear their rain boots, but don’t waste your time daydreaming about how your foot is going to pop while you wear your galoshes the next time you are necking in the rain.
If you stand outside in a cold drizzle you are probably just going to wind up sick and chaffed from your wet clothes. I feel like most girls don’t actually want to stand around in the cold Nebraska rain being kissed, they just want to be able to tell all of their friends that they’ve been kissed in
the rain.
And let’s not forget to mention the big romantic gestures! In real life sneaking into someone’s apartment to fill it with roses is called breaking and entering. Running past airport security will get you arrested. Crashing someone else’s wedding in order to profess your love for a person in the wedding party is highly frowned upon.
When planning a romantic gesture, think everything through thoroughly. Make sure that whatever you’re planning won’t lead to jail time. Simple acts of romance are just as appreciated and not nearly as illegal.
Remember that no matter how great the movies look, unscripted romance in the real world, even with all of its awkwardness, is so much better.
The Dating Scene. Graphic courtesy of Annemarie Weiner