It’s another new year. Great. That means there won’t ever be an open lap lane at the YMCA, and it’ll take a stroke of luck to find an open treadmill at the local gym.

I get the idea that it’s a new year, and people want to change old habits, but this is absurd. Because it’s a “new year,” society has determined that January is the month when all the new diets start. It’s the month when the usually sedentary venture from their homes for their one month of activity before abandoning new exercise regimes for the couch.

Now my intent isn’t necessarily to rail on those who want to get in shape; it’s just annoying that everyone decides to do it at the same time. At least at my gym at home, there’s no point in going for the first few weeks of the New Year, because it’s so crowded that it’s hard to even move.

What is it about January that makes people suddenly want to change their lives? Since I’ve been on the topic of exercise, let’s keep going with this idea. Why don’t people wait until the spring when it’s at least warm enough to run outside? There is nothing magical about January, I promise.

And let’s face it. Treadmills aren’t all they’re cracked up to be. I don’t know about the general population, but I always feel like a rat on a wheel when I do the treadmill thing. And I know for a fact that all sane people are unwilling to brave the outdoors during Omaha winters.

I really do admire the ambition of making New Year’s resolutions, but I just think crowded gyms are irritating. And realistically, how long do these resolutions typically last? One week, maybe two? So what’s the point? And why is it that exercising and weight loss are among the most common resolutions?

I tend to go for more obscure goals. I’ve been guilty in the past of making resolutions that were impossible and unrealistic. This year, I decided to make a New Year’s resolution that I would be able to keep.

Not only is it a very attainable goal, but it’s something that doesn’t really take a ton of work, and I won’t get burned out. My problem is flexibility. I could very possibly be the least flexible human being to ever bumble around on this planet. I can hardly touch my knees when my legs are straight. I know, that’s pretty bad.

So I decided that I want to be able to touch my toes without bending my knees at all. Stretching isn’t something that I’m necessarily fond of, but it takes all of 10 seconds every day. And, for the record, I am currently only a few inches from reaching my goal already.

Because I’m so close to my goal, and it’s only been about a month, I decided to implement part two of my resolution: to become stronger.

In fact, when it comes to upper body strength, I am embarrassingly deficient. At home my mom has a cast-iron skillet. It’s not just any skillet; this thing is heavy. As it stands now, I struggle to maneuver the thing with both hands and all the mental and physical strength I can muster. So I started lifting weights, with my ultimate goal of picking it up with one hand.

For those of you out there with a resolution, good for you. Try to keep it. And if you haven’t made a New Year’s resolution yet and you feel so inclined, I would encourage you to pick something that’s simple and attainable. If nothing else, you might as well go to the gym, since the activity should be tapering off as the end of the month draws near.