Dear Brenda Bluejay:

I am a freshman in Kiewit this year. I agreed to live with my current roommate last semester next year when we are sophomores. But things have been really different this semester between us. We are in different sororities, different friend groups, and just don’t really talk that much. We haven’t talked about rooming next semester and I don’t know how to explain that I want to live with other people. Should I just tough it out and live with her or room with other people? I don’t want to hurt her feelings, but I want to have fun during my sophomore with my friends!

-Frazzled Freshman

Hi Frazzled Freshman!

First of all, this is a really common issue friends and roommates face freshmen year. It’s a huge year for growth and it’s normal to break out of friend groups throughout your first year of college. I think the healthiest way to approach this situation is to simply sit down with your roommate and ask if she’s still interested in rooming together. After all, she may be in the same situation as you, but is afraid to hurt your feelings! If confrontation isn’t your thing, maybe have a mutual friend ask if she has any plans for rooming next year. If she still intends to room with you, I think it would be helpful to grab dinner with her and catch up! It could be a good chance to see where your friendship is at, and to ask gently if she’s noticed the growing gap in your friendship as well. It can be hard to have these conversations, especially with someone you live with, but it is so important to make sure no animosity grows between you two! It is my personal opinion that you should really seek out a positive environment with your future roommates, and it sounds like your relationship with your current roommate could become toxic. Another great resource would be your Resident Advisor. I’m sure she’s seen lots of situations like this and could help you make a plan of action. Remember that every situation is what you make of it, so keep a positive attitude and I’m sure everything will work out for the best. Good luck, Frazzled Freshman, and I hope everything works out for you!

Roll Jays,

Brenda Bluejay

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