I love America. Something about this darn country has me coming back for more every day, despite my massive credit card debt.

Every day is a new adventure when you have access to markets like these, and my own salvation lies in traveling to new gas stations. 

For some, gas stations and convenience stores symbolize everything bad about America. Personally, I think that’s a load of junk. 

Where else can a man walk into a store at 3 a.m. and buy a box of glazed donuts and a Diet Coke? If that ain’t paradise, I don’t want it. 

Gas stations are the backbone of America. At their core, gas stations were built on the invention of the automobile and subsequent installation of the Interstate system, which in my eyes was the best thing America did in the whole 20th century, right behind stomping out communism. 

If you’re a loser, you’ll go into the gas station just to buy healthy food. 

Frankly, every time I see someone walk into a gas station just to buy fruit or veggies, I want to vomit. 

The single most un-American thing you can do is be that hard on yourself, because why aren’t you just buying a frozen pizza?

It’s more convenient and way more flavorful, and besides, who even eats fruit nowadays? 

As of late, the gas station and convenience store business have been crushed by soaring inflation.

It’s a shame we don’t have anyone to take care of it, and I seriously wish we could just send some money out so we could actually afford things. 

I think the President can probably do something about that, but probably won’t. Washington never gets anything done and I expect less and less every time I turn on the news. 

One thing I love about America is all the choices I have when I walk into a marketplace, which I know other countries don’t have, at least not on our level. 

At the end of the day, who cares if I pay $2 for a Snickers bar? It’s my money.

One time I was just minding my business standing in line and some old chap comes up to me and claims he could buy one for just a dime back in his day. 

Who cares, old man? We ain’t going back to whatever funky time you were brought up in. There ain’t never been a better time than the present. 

People will claim that sugary soda is bad, that the gas station food has too much salt or that the hot dogs on the roller grill are gross because it hasn’t been cleaned in years, etc. 

There’s endless negativity surrounding prosperity like this, and Americans love to complain about the best things in life. 

The best part is, we live in a free country and whether or not you buy that hot dog is up to you as a consumer. 

Gas stations are an undeniable cultural touchstone that stop at nothing to sell you everything, which, to me, is beautiful.

Despite their pitfalls, gas stations are here to stay and remain a bastion of the American dream, or at least my American dream.

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