For those of you that are lifelong residents of Omaha, or have been Creighton students for a long enough period of time, I feel you have a duty to inform those of us that have just recently joined the university and community about your roads. I don’t mean to alienate myself, but your roads infuriate me.

To begin with, some roads change direction based on the time of day. Whether it is a whole street or simply one lane of a street, it is nonetheless annoying. The state of confusion for a new … Omahan? Omahite? is a temporary one. But the annoyance persists. Seemingly, it would take a state of national importance or Husker nation importance to allow one to turn left on Dodge Street. Or you could take a right on this street, double back on that street and pray to God construction hasn’t cut you off from civilization. And what’s with the eight second green lights? I’ve been forced to drive through more yellow lights in the month here than in my previous nine years of driving.

It might just be Omaha neophyte paranoia but the rule prohibiting left turns on Dodge doesn’t seem to apply to locals. I assume that it’s cheaper to create temporary lanes of mass transportation for traffic moving east and west through Omaha than it would be to extend Highway 6 downtown, but the current situation turns Dodge Street into Daytona International Speedway; trading sheet metal seems to be a common occurrence. What especially terrifies me is the high number of accidents which seem to include at least one driver that has happened to go the wrong way on a one way street. Come on Omaha, you’re already confusing me but now we’re playing a vehicular version of the Asteroids arcade game?

Which brings me to my next point of contention. The construction…will it ever end? I’ve been informed by supplanted Omahans that this will only last until the city runs out of money. I’m not sure which project I want to see more rapidly defunded, Obamacare or Omaha’s road ‘improvement’ projects. Dodge Street is already hectic; the introduction of traffic cones, construction workers and material simply exacerbates the situation – not to mention as a resident Iowan, it’s a well known fact that Nebraska drivers are crazy. Attempting to learn how to get around Omaha is trying as is, construction makes this exercise near-impossible. Yet humorously, all of that construction funding doesn’t seem to be enough to fill the myriad of Mini Cooper-sized potholes around the city’s streets.

I’ve devised ways to improve my driving experience in Omaha. Barring my imminent acquisition of a Humvee, the best way to get around Omaha seems to be on motorcycle. Motorcyclists appear to disregard nearly every single traffic law concocted by the city of Omaha. I would suggest living on campus and commuting by foot, but campus improvements mean that even Creighton’s byways are filled with the sounds of construction. Perhaps Omaha is the right place for the future of online learning and living. Until my apartment’s hallway turns into the autobahn.

So the next time you’re barrelling down Farnam Street just under the speed of light, take the time to wave as you send my car careening into the closest Runza.