With the wrap-up of the last three state primaries this week, we have the final slate of candidates for this year’s midterm elections. Here’s an in-depth analysis of the Senate races that you’ll need to watch to know who takes control this November.
Arizona: Rep. Martha McSally (R) vs. Rep. Kyrsten Sinema (D); open seat
The current holder of this seat, Republican Sen. Jeff Flake, is retiring at the end of this term. I understand Arizona is known for its mavericks. I expect the winner of this race to be the one most likely to win in a fight. I choose Sinema for this race, just because that’s a supervillain name if I’ve ever seen one.
Florida: Sen. Bill Nelson (D) vs. Gov. Rick Scott (R)
FiveThrityEight lists this as the most important toss-up state right now. Whoever keeps tossing it needs to be stopped. Think of the elderly.
Indiana: Sen. Joe Donnelly (D) vs. Mike Braun (R)
It’s been so long since Braun was promised a castle, he’s given up on monarchy and embraced democracy. Just in case though, someone should probably double-check with him just to make sure he doesn’t think the Capitol building is a castle — don’t judge, it’s a mistake we’ve all made. Either way, I can’t wait to see what sort of twist ending George R.R. Martin comes up with for this one.
Missouri: Sen. Claire McCaskill (D) vs. Josh Hawley (R)
Hawley has accused McCaskill of being beholden to business interests and demanded that she release her tax forms. I think it’s going to backfire on him; Missouri loves companies.
Nevada: Sen. Dean Heller (R) vs. Rep. Jacky Rosen (D)
The betting odds on this race are closer than any other Senate race. A little full of yourself, aren’t you, Vegas? I think we really need to look at the fundamentals when it comes to this race: the candidate that over-emphasizes Nev-AW-da the most leading up to Election Day will take this one.
North Dakota: Sen. Heidi Heitkamp (D) vs. Rep. Kevin Cramer (R)
Cramer served as the State Tourism Director before his election as North Dakota’s sole representative in the House. I wasn’t aware that there was any tourism in North Dakota. However, I also wasn’t aware there were any Democrats in North Dakota, so it’s probably not looking good for Heitkamp.
Tennessee: Rep. Marsha Blackburn (R) vs. Phil Bredesen (D); open seat
Another Senate seat previously held by a quitter, replacing the retiring Bob Corker could be anyone’s game. Who is going to take this race? I don’t know, but experts say that Marsha Blackburn is a totally cool-sounding name. Frankly, I agree.
Texas: Sen. Ted Cruz (R) vs. Rep. Beto O’Rourke (D)
On this season of Zodiac Senator, Ted Cruz struggles to conceal his identity while on the campaign trail. Meanwhile, O’Rourke tries to figure out who keeps abducting his supporters (Hint: it isn’t ICE).
West Virginia: Sen. Joe Manchin (D) vs. Patrick Morrissey (R)
I don’t know much about incumbent Joseph Manchin III, but I can only assume that he’s some sort of elitist fat cat with a name like that. Seems like a risky choice for the Democrats, especially in a blue-collar coal state like West Virginia. I’m as big of a fan of the Smiths as any, but frankly Morrissey hasn’t put out a good album in years. Also, I’m not entirely sure he’s a U.S. citizen.