Every Monday since fall semester started, Iβve heard the same exchange:
βB-deis?β
βYeah, Iβm down.β
βErrr wait. Itβs Meatless Monday. Letβs go to Skutt.β
βOh yeah, for sure.β
In case youβve been living under a rock or just donβt have a meal plan, Meatless Monday is Brandeis Dining Hallβs new health campaign aimed at decreasing the amount of meat we all consume. In Creighton Diningβs words, the goal of the program is, βto help reduce our meat consumption by 15 percent,β in order to, βimprove personal health and the health of the planet.β
The movement claims that, βGoing meatless once a week can reduce the risk of chronic preventable conditions like cancer, cardiovascular disease, diabetes, and obesity. It can also help limit our carbon footprint and save precious resources like fresh water and fossil fuel.β
The movement also has stated that Meatless Monday is NOT, βan attempt to convert meat-eaters to vegetarianism,β or, βa companyβs way to cut back on spending.β
Want to know what else Meatless Monday is not? Effective.
You canβt arbitrarily take away something we all want. You canβt govern responsibility. Please, stop trying.
Need proof? See the 18th, and subsequent 19th, amendment to the United States Constitution.
Or, in a much more topical way, look at current New York City Mayor Michael Bloombergβs attempt at governing health into his constituents by making sugary drinks over 16 ounces illegal to sell.
Come on. Seriously? To quote the great Randy Marsh, βI thought this was AβMurica!β
If people want to drink more than 16 ounces of soda, theyβre just going to buy another drink. If people want to eat meat on Mondays, theyβre just going to go somewhere where they can.
This is what I mean when I say Meatless Monday, otherwise known as claustrophobic day at Skutt, is not effective. People will just go elsewhere for their meat.
And they do. And usually it is to Skutt. And it sucks.
You can see it on the pained expression of the Skutt card swipersβ faces as they try to keep up with the influx of meal exchanges.
No matter what the case may be, you canβt govern responsibility. It has to be naturally embraced by the individual; it canβt be externally imposed by some bureaucracy. If it is, itβs not going to be successful.
Prohibition was repealed. Marijuana is still smoked regularly. Sugary drinks will still be consumed in copious amounts, and gamblers will just drive across the border to do their gambling (stupid Nebraska. smh).
If anything, banned substances become more desirable. Itβs the forbidden fruit effect, and itβs as old as time.
But these are rants for another day. Β Let me get back on track.
Donβt get me wrong, the desired outcomes of Meatless Monday are all very good things. Of course itβs good for your health to not eat so much meat (Watch Forks Over Knives, itβs an eye opener). Of course itβs good to cut our fossil fuel consumption.
But youβre not going to achieve that through this kind of initiative. Again, that kind of change has to be embraced by the individual.
If Creighton Dining wants to successfully cut the amount of meat we consume, they should do it like any honest and forthright business: sneak it in over an extended period of time and hope the consumer doesnβt notice.
Rather than making every meal meatless on Monday, cut meat out of breakfast on Monday, lunch on Tuesday, and dinner on Wednesday. And if the goal of the initiative is to make students aware that too much meat and dairy is unhealthy for them, put up warning signs of said unhealthiness where we order the food. Like with cigarettes.
But donβt just take it away and expect it to be successful.
C.S. Lewis once said, βOf all tyrannies, a tyranny exercised for the good of its victims may be the most oppressive. Those who torment us for our own good will torment us without end, for they do so with the approval of their own conscience.β
Make of that quote what you will. Maybe itβs a little melodramatic to cite in regards to something as silly as Meatless Monday, but I include it to make you think – and maybe to make myself seem smart.
Regardless, Meatless Monday is the dumbest thing to happen to Brandeis since we spent millions of dollars to take out all the seating. Itβs what happens when you take real competition out of a market and allow a company to tell consumers what they want instead of vice-versa. Itβs Meatless Monday, and itβs got to go.
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