Ever since I can remember, my mom has always told me to be myself. I have never understood why some people act differently around certain people.

I’m not talking about not cussing in front of your grandma. I’m referring to the Cady type that Lindsay Lohan plays in Mean Girls. You know the kind; she acts like she has no clue how to add six plus six but in reality she is a math wiz.

Serious question: what if the person you are faking it for ends up falling for this “fake” you? Are you going to keep up the act until your dying day? When you finally break it to your significant other that you have been lying, that trust is broken and cannot be fixed. He or she starts to wonder what else you have been lying about and if he or she even knows who you really are. Shoot, you have been faking it for so long that I bet you don’t even know who you really are anymore.

For some strange reason, I have noticed that people present themselves as different people. Of course relationships don’t work out when you change who you are. How can someone love you for who you are when you don’t even know who you are?

Love isn’t when you love someone for only the good things; you love him or her for his or her faults too. People are obsessed with presenting a perfect version of themselves all of the time. If you are really perfect you aren’t human because humans make mistakes, plain and simple. Marilyn Monroe once said, “But if you can’t handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best.”

I had a friend who never let her boyfriend see her without makeup on. They dated for two years! Not only is that an absurd amount of mascara, but it is just ridiculous. Whatever happened to the “take me as I am, sweatpants, beer gut, crazy family and all?”

I realize people do change, but you should be selfish in the changes you make. What I mean is you change for you, to better yourself, not for someone else. If it happens to benefit your significant other, go you; just make sure it benefits you first and foremost. Do you really want to spend all of your time keeping up appearances, playing the part of someone you are not? Do you want to always monitor what you say and do around everyone? I think that it would be downright exhausting, always trying to do and say the perfect things.

Before you go out on your soul mate search, make sure you know who you are first.