“You are still single? What about my neighbor’s grandson? I hear he has his own cattle herd.” I head things along those lines the entire time I was home for a quick visit. I fought the urge to remind my grandma of what happened the last time she tried to set me up on a date. Let’s just say, it wasn’t pretty.

I strongly recommend exercising caution when letting your family members set you up on a date. Sometimes family can go in with the mindset of “Hey single person, meet another single person. You have loads in common being single and all. Plus, I want grandkids before I’m 60.” Family members might not always know what we’re looking for, especially when it comes to the terms of what is or is not a deal breaker. They can’t always assess if you are even going to find their setup attractive.

There will be loads of pressure from your family to go for their pick for you. If you aren’t interested, make sure to hold your ground and simply say they aren’t your type.

If you do decide to go with their setup, I recommend you do, at minimum, these three things:

First, do some pre-screening because no one wants to waste his or her time. Try talking on the phone first to see if you have anything in common.

Second, get a photo. With Facebook, Myspace, Twitter, Flickr and more, it shouldn’t be hard to find a picture. Be honest about whether they look appealing to you, but don’t be shallow. If all their pictures show them shot-gunning beer and you can’t even handle a glass of wine, then they may not be for you.

Third, establish some boundaries. Your family is going to want to hear every detail and dissect what went wrong or right. Be very clear that you have the right to make your own decisions and you don’t have to divulge every single detail.

Dating disasters aside, stay open to the idea. Approach it with a sense of curiosity and just have fun. If you don’t like them, maybe you have a friend they would be great for.

Worst-case scenario, you’ll have a good story to tell and use as leverage the next time your family tries to set you up with someone’s grandkid.