I have been told I can get insufferable about the music other people play. I am never content with the playlist in any given restaurant, retail space or house party. For my friends, this often reads as pretentiousness (fair enough), but my issue is never with the fact that music in public spaces isn’t “niche” enough — it’s that the music never fits the feeling. The closest I’ve come to experiencing musical synchronicity was in a Goodwill that played “Heartbeats” by The Knife on loop from the time I entered to the time I left. No employee made an effort to stop it or change the track. I guess we all agreed, through some kind of unifying telepathy, that it was the right song for the right moment.  

Since then, I’ve decided that a good mixtape or playlist is a sure way to reach the highest level of human fulfillment. There is genuinely nothing better than hearing a song that takes on a kind of non-diegetic quality; songs that fit the moment so well you feel like you’ve been removed from your regular life and placed in a movie. These occasions may seem rare and elusive, but the truth is that properly engineered music selections can help you romanticize any mundane experience. You just have to follow these steps: 

1. Know your audience! A good DJ should always consider their demographics. Are you in the car with your friends? Your parents? A mixtape must cater to the audience in some way, and knowing what the people in your life are receptive to will make your job much easier. A late-night drive filled with songs no one knows the lyrics to is an incredible failure.  

2. Once you have a basic idea of what kind of music you should be playing, think about the mood and tone. The emotional nuances of a scene are subjective, personal and take a lot of gut-feeling to navigate. In this sense, a song is an olive branch to offer other people. On softer, rainy days I like listening to overly melancholy artists. By turning on music by an artist like Jeff Buckley, I can ask, very carefully, without saying anything at all, “do you feel like this too?” The response always determines what you should play next.  

3. Practice a certain level of non-intervention. Hawking over the queue makes you less involved in whatever you’re trying to do. Sometimes a song plays when you didn’t intend it to, and it works better than expected. It’s important to develop a sense for when you should step in and when you should leave things alone. Imagine a party where the DJ changes their mind seven or eight times before finally settling on a track. The moment is gone, and no one is having fun anymore.  

4. Take requests!!! A soundtrack is a shared effort, and in many ways, a labor of love. If your friend, partner, family member or the random guy you just met today, wants to contribute — let them, no matter what. Connecting with other people is the only real reason to be this mind-bogglingly performative. Always appreciate the people who want to make something with you.