The last couple weeks have been filled with reminiscing with my friends as we prepare to walk the graduation stage on May 16. Day after day, my friends and I sit around, cringe at our freshman selves and laugh at all our ridiculous photos. We discuss classes we regret taking and shots we regret not taking.  

One thing I heard from a graduating senior last year has stuck with me — “time doesn’t fly as quickly when you take the time to reflect” — and I have found this to hold true. Looking back on photos, reading through old journals and tracking my personal and emotional growth helps the final days stretch out a little longer.  

As I prepare to graduate, my little sister is preparing to start college, and has been asking for my advice, which has made me consider what it would be like to start college over again and what I would do differently. 

So, if I woke up as a first-day freshman tomorrow … 

 I would change my major a million times. It might put me behind, but it will teach me new ways of thinking and let me meet so many unique people. 

I would spend more time worrying about my schoolwork than doing my schoolwork. I would discover that learning is more important than grades and oftentimes there is learning that happens without a grade attached.  

I would eat too many quesadillas and frosted brownies at the dining hall, because it would help me forge a bond with the girls who live down the hall. I would let myself get countless Brandeis stomachaches, because those after-dinner walks would give me my best friends. 

I would go out even when I was tired and stay out later than I ever have in my life, because it would give me some of my favorite memories and teach me to respect my own boundaries. 

I would study abroad my sophomore year, going to Spain without knowing a single person there. This would show me some of the most illuminating and formative, yet also the hardest and loneliest, times of my life — and prove to me how strong I am for getting through them. It would teach me how to communicate across language and culture and give me something to talk about in every job interview in the future. 

I would be too loud, show up too early to parties and give an absurd amount of “freshman energy,” because this is just practice for the real confidence that comes later. I would make an utter fool of myself in hopes that I learn embarrassment is a temporary, not-so-painful emotion. 

I would try and fail, over and over, to find a place where I feel comfortable and wanted. I would make friends and lose friends. I would learn who will really stick around and, more importantly, who I really want to be around. Every door closed, every friend lost would teach me what to look for in the next one. 

Long story short: if I started college over again, I wouldn’t do anything differently. I would make the same mistakes, and I would learn from them. College is about self-exploration, not perfection, and trials and failures are part of the process. What fun would life be if you always did the “right” thing? Everything is the “right” thing if you turn it into an opportunity to grow and learn. 

In the end, true confidence can only come from growth. Every time you look back to see how far you’ve come, you step forward more self-assured than before. I’m learning to accept the cringe and the regrets because they have brought me to where I am today: a wizened college senior with good stories, good advice and good (and forgetful) friends.