Kindness is my middle name. Well, not legitimately as that would be crazy, but I take it pretty seriously. A lot can be said about how you treat others and it is normally the first thing I judge about a person. 

I am a strict golden rule follower; treating others the way you want to be treated.However, I almost never follow it the other way around. 

What I mean is, when someone is being unkind or rude to me, I try to steal a play out of Selena Gomez’s book and kill them with kindness. I’m not trying to hype myself up too much, as this is probably my biggest fault. 

I am a “Class A” people pleaser in hopes of recovering sometime soon. Being the bigger person all the time gets draining and I find myself feeling walked on and used in certain situations. 

So where do I draw the line? 

If you are also struggling with this understated problem, I promise there is a light at the end of the tunnel.  

In certain situations, I’ve had to flip my thinking and look at things from a different perspective.  

If I asked a friend to do me a favor, I wouldn’t want them to feel forced to do something they wouldn’t want to do. If they are a true friend, they would think the same thing if the situation was flipped.  

The first couple times I tried this it was a little painful, but slowly I’ve gotten better at saying no. 

There is a difference between being a kind person versus being a person without a backbone.  

When you feel a need to put yourself first or you start to feel uncomfortable in a scenario, it is 100% okay to say no to something. 

No is a full sentence, and if someone fully cares about you, they will respect your answer or decision no matter what. 

Be sure to identify your priorities. If you have a paper due at midnight, don’t feel obligated to help your friend with their math project. 

Reiterate your boundaries to your friends when needed, and if you aren’t sure if you can or can’t do something, ask for time to make your decision. 

Recovering from people pleasing won’t happen overnight. 

Taking little steps to put yourself and your well-being first will be extremely beneficial in the long run. 

It is ok to put yourself first.

It’s something I am still working on, but I promise that once you do it, you’ll slowly start to feel better.