I was raised in a no-phones-at-the-dinner-table family. Every night at 6 p.m., my sisters and I would squeeze around the kitchen table, rattle off the events of our day between bites and get each other up to speed. If I had a ballet class during dinner time, my mom would always sit with me when I got home to eat. When my sisters had volleyball practice, I would return to the table when they got home as they ate. I’m not sure my parents were even conscious of it, but nobody ever ate alone. That’s just how it always was. 

I think the simple concept of “no phones at the dinner table” represents something much bigger, which I never understood until recently. It really doesn’t pertain to the dinner table at all. It is about showing up for those around us, being present and showing respect to the people in our close community. 

It worries me to think this is becoming a lost art. I value connectivity, eye contact and engaged conversation. More and more, people are on their phones while sitting with friends, checking texts and messages in the company of others. They mindlessly scroll instead of connecting with the people around them. 

I have even found myself guilty of this lately. I’ll see a message come up on my phone when I’m eating dinner with friends. It seems harmless to send back a quick response, but when I look back up to resume the conversation, I have almost always lost my train of thought. It completely disrupts the conversation, and, frankly, it’s rude. 

It is not hard to go on do-not-disturb mode when you’re with people. It’s time for us to bring this back. It’s time we give the people we are engaging with our undivided attention. This week, I put intentional effort towards being more present this week, and I feel more connected to those around me than I have in a while. My conversations have been deeper and more meaningful. I feel less distracted and more ready to show up fully to the other things going on in my life. 

As we begin to settle into this new year, I challenge you to implement a no phones at the dinner table policy during your meals. Ditch the screens when you’re eating with others. Become fully present in all your interactions. The results may surprise you.