By BETHANY SMITH
Guest Reporter
“Pomp and circumstance” – it is the tune heard at nearly every college graduation ceremony. However, it seems as though the pomp for college graduates may be diminished by economic circumstances.
The “circumstance” graduating students may find themselves in is a bleak job market where the few available jobs hardly offer enough pay for all those college loans. The troubled economy means nearly half of spring graduates are expected to move back home, according to trends in the 2006 census figures.
After four years of independence, college students can find moving back home a little scary. A student already has enough stresses like loans and job hunting. The move home can be less stressful for grads and their families by following a few tips to make moving back home be a fruitful and happy experience.
Do not make assumptions about life after graduation
“Do not assume that everyone automatically finds a job and apartment and starts their life right after matriculation,” said Andrew Berding, a recent Creighton University graduate. “It took me five months to find a job out of college, and it will take another year and a half to two years to become remotely independent.” Knowing that Berding’s case is not uncommon, students shouldn’t wrongfully assume that certain events should happen immediately after graduation. Things take time. They are not as alone as they think in having to move back home.
Show respect once you’re home
Much like respecting a roommate in a college dorm room, students shouldn’t forget that cardinal rule of respecting parents. Parents are not housekeepers, so the grad should not abuse the kindness of their parents’ allowing them to return home. However, respect goes both ways. Not only do students have to respect their parents, but parents have to “respect that the students are adults as well,” said Debra Pellegrino, mother of three college students.
“As long as there’s respect, it would be fine and I would always be here for them and not hurry them out,” she said. This might mean that parents might have to extend curfews or even – gasp – abolish them altogether.
Determine purpose
“[Moving home] doesn’t have to be a step backwards, but unless part of a plan, it will be,” said Dr. Michael Kelley, director of the Creighton Center for Health and Counseling. There is a risk of a “seductive deal,” and, “It is not good for the student to accept a soft deal. It is better for everyone if something is demanded,” Kelley said. It does neither the parent nor the student any good if the student leeches off soft parents. Students should be looking for jobs or if they have one, saving money so their stay at home remains temporary. Kelly said parents might want to consider charging rent in some cases to keep the situation from becoming too comfortable.
Communicate
None of these tips is possible without communication. Preferably, grads and their parents should sit down and have a “comfortable, supportive, out-loud discussion before allowing the student to move back in,” Kelley said. Parents and grads should express their concerns and expectations and clearly state what they think moving home should mean for everyone.
The economy is going to take time to fix, so these tips will help with at least one post-graduation stressor.
“Living at home is a Band-Aid for me. It stops the economic bleeding for the time being by allowing me to focus on saving money, going back to school and especially to address concerns like student loans,” Berding said. “It is not a solution, but it is something that will suffice.”
Remember, living at home isn’t permanent. Things will get better, but for now, returning home can be a nice respite from the economy, especially once the transition home has been made effortless from respectful and purposeful familial communication.