So I was at a convenience store last weekend getting soda, among other things, for a get-together I was attending that night. As I approached the counter, a large man cut in front of me and said, “One condom.” He was so confident. He knew what he wanted and wasn’t afraid to ask for it.
Prophylactic in hand, he sauntered out of the store, and I awkwardly dug into my pockets for a wad of wrinkled bills. Trying to make small talk, I was met with blank stares and the clerk saying, “Not enough.” I fished out another buck and was on my way.
The point of this story is that I’m completely insecure in normal semi-professional interaction. Even when ordering everyday things, I feel uncomfortable; this is compounded when purchasing “adult” items like alcohol, tobacco and even condoms. Maybe everyone is, or at least most people — well there must be another person out there like me.
Creighton should address this issue. I’m not saying that they should make “Interacting in Normal Social Situations” a new major (right away), but it should give a one-credit class about it, like RSP, and maybe from there it will develop into a minor and then possibly a major. To make the process simpler, I have taken it upon myself to do all the administrative work.
We would first want classes of approximately 16-24 students. The key is to have an even number so everyone can participate in class exercises. Class exercises would mainly involve role-playing, in which one student would be a clerk and the other
a customer.
They would begin small, buying soda, candy, etc. Eventually, they would work up to buying an embarrassing movie, like “Mr. Mom” or “Constantine,” and then to alcohol or tobacco – provided they are of age, even in role-playing. And for the final, students would be required to mock-purchase condoms or a pregnancy test.
The classes would also go over various strategies to avoid humiliation, including hiding the embarrassing items in the middle of their cart, talking loudly and quickly when said items go across the register and, for the guys, claiming the tampons are for your “girlfriend” (not your female relative or roommate). Also, it would be important to teach students what makes such interactions awkward: choosing elderly cashiers of the opposite sex, avoiding eye-contact, buying any one of the aforementioned items alone and, most importantly, admitting that it is your first time buying these things.
I would definitely take the class. Maybe after a couple semesters, I would learn the art of normal social interaction – if I studied hard and reviewed my notes. I can only hope that Creighton takes my advice and provides this much-needed service. Perhaps one day, if I cross paths with that man from the convenience store, I could confidently add to his request, “Make that two.”
In accordance with Creighton policy, sexual relationships outside of the bonds of marriage are considered morally harmful.