“A Pepsi? This early?” a friend of mine asked, as she held her coffee mug to the side of her hip.
I didn’t answer her; instead I sipped my preferred form of caffeine and stared.
This interaction did start me thinking: There are definite times during which certain drinks are appropriate and other drinks are not. There are drinks that can be imbibed in the morning but not at night, others only in the winter, others only at night and still others only once a year.
It would seem that these rules deciding when a drink is appropriate would be simple, but no. To grasp the social norms that govern when a drink is OK to drink or not is an elaborate underpinning.
Understanding this phenomenon of time/drink appropriateness is a pivotal life skill that all Creighton graduates should know.
Imagine the awkwardness if one was to order hot chocolate for a summer business lunch or orange soda for a winter breakfast meeting. That is why Creighton should hand out literature; maybe in the form of a flow chart that would give students some sense as to when a drink is alright or when it will cause them to become a pariah.
To help Creighton, because I know the administration has a lot to do with my last two articles, I’ve gathered some information on drinks and when they should be imbibed. First and foremost, never under any circumstance drink soda between the hours of 5 a.m. and noon unless you want people to question your taste.
Along those lines, it would be a good idea to avoid alcohol, unless you’re Mel Gibson, then by all means l’chaim to you. Most drinks are kosher for the entire afternoon, but I would advise against bedtime teas in the late afternoon because they tend to make sleep more important than anything else.
Speaking of teas, they’re pretty much great at any part of the day; however, the type of tea depends on the season. For instance, hot teas are more acceptable when the weather is cooler, and iced tea is better for lulling away mid-afternoons in the summer.
And this brings me to my next idea: hot chocolate, while amazing, should be avoided when the weather is hot or swimsuit season is approaching. Coffee has no such limitations.
There are two drinks that can only be enjoyed at one point in the year (if I can even use the word “enjoy”): eggnog and Slivovitz kosher brandy. Eggnog is only acceptable around Christmas time. There is never another appropriate time to break out the ‘nog, no matter how tempting. Slivovitz should only be consumed during Pesach.
Why anyone would want to drink it at any other time is beyond me, but if someone were debating, stick to the rule: If there’s bread in the house, leave the Slivovitz alone.
I think the best thing Creighton could do would be to take this information and turn it into a flow chart and have it passed out in the dining halls, with Welcome Week information and on the other side of the diploma. Or, if the administration were feeling particularly randy, print it up and make table tents for all the dining areas (because everyone enjoys table tents).