This past week, I read an interesting article on elite.com by John Picciuto about how chivalry is dead from man’s perspective. I was wary at first but after the first paragraph I found myself nodding along.  The sentence that struck a chord with me the most was, “Dating is done.”  Maybe it was due to the fact that I had spent the past 12 days in Ireland with a bunch of 50- year- olds who were constantly hounding me to find myself a nice Irishman and settle down.  All of them expected that as a senior in college I should be in a steady relationship and factoring this person into my future plans.  Being as we were on a religious pilgrimage, I dodged the questions with a few comments about me becoming a nun and know they should just leave me in a convent that we visited.  I’m 99 percent sure my grandma was tempted to do just that a

few times.

I have thought more and more about how to explain to my family that dating is in fact done for. There is no more ‘going steady,’ wearing his class ring around your neck with his letterman jacket around your shoulders.  I have to disagree with Picciuto and say that chivalry is not dead, but that it is pretty darn close.  Casually dating is even disappearing.  Picciuto makes a point when he says, “Who goes on dates anymore?  It’s all about hooking up, getting a number, grabbing a drink and getting down.”  He chalks it up to the ever-changing landscape of communication and how through all the changes we’ve altogether lost our ability to communicate.  You can go to a noisy bar and expect to get to know someone new, when all you really end up with is uninteresting small talk.  I agree with him when he says that no one takes the time to get to really know people anymore and that is why relationships are failing.

He says that the real problem is that women, for one reason or another, have become complacent and allowed men to get away with adhering to the bare minimum.  I am going to take this one step further and simplify it: treat others as you want to be treated, plain and simple.  I have loads of friends that complain (myself being one from time to time) about how they are never treated right and are sick of being used.  When they ask my advice I say don’t let them treat you like that, up your standards and eventually a person that is willing to actually try—and I mean wholeheartedly try—to gain your love and trust; will come along and that patience is key.  If you give someone love and respect and they trample all over it, that is big red flashing sign to get the heck out of Dodge and find someone who returns that love and respect.

If you want to read Picciuto’s article, you can find it here.